cup of coffee
by the water
this day to God
I’ve been thinking about memories and how they seem to be connected with the senses and sometimes strong emotions. My mother’s German mother died a year before I was born – the exact day. Somehow I was born with empathy, and the caregiving years with my mother seemed like destiny. We helped each other. My father’s Swedish mother lived to 1973, and many childhood Christmas memories go back to Nanna. She and Poppa Ernie, who worked on the railroad, lived in Milwaukee. I remember falling asleep in the car on the way home to Wauwatosa.
When I look at some of your blogs from Sweden, sometimes I feel homesick, though I have not been to Sweden. I understand why Wisconsin became a new home for Dad’s parents – why they felt comfortable away from their first home. When I drove back here every weekend from my mother’s home for several years, as much as I love the Milwaukee area, once I got North of Port Washington, the landscape spoke to my soul. Home. North. Then all the small roads I so dearly love. The serenity of the trees and the sky. I also had to watch out for people who drove too fast on the roads. Sometimes they seemed young, and I thought, “Someday you may want to return . . .” I would see crosses too, where there had been accidents. So let us be careful and safe.
There were joyful holidays, years when I tried too hard to keep too many people happy, and also times of pain and grief when I cried myself to sleep; years in hospitals with loved ones, one year I was ill; and through it all growing faith in what stays the same and endures. While this is my main blog, I keep my smaller Grief And Acceptance site updated, knowing the holidays are not always easy. http://griefandacceptance.wordpress.com I rest in God’s plan for my life, as I see how so much good has grown from tears. And I am a very slow learner, take a long time to heal. There can be years supporting a poem that writes itself in five minutes. I always knew deep-down, that I would be older before some things came together. And also “an old soul” at a young age. Now I am so happy to live a simple life and write blog posts.
The Christmas cactus has fewer blooms this year, older now. Every bit as beautiful, these flowers. I repotted the plant once, but haven’t done much more than water it. Fine with me to bloom a little less now.
May December be a beautiful month. Now the days do grow short here. It’s hard to believe I went to school and taught at night for about a decade (day and night). I felt called to the work, and God gave the strength until it was time to stop. Now I am beginning to write college plans for The Haiku Foundation Education Wall. Just beginning. The work is slower, and I like to think a little better, for more experience.
I also began a very small site called Quiet Christmas Poetry. I enjoy trying many different WordPress themes and reprinting some of the short poems you seem to like the best. Simply the joy of being creative and maybe a moment of peace and quiet joy for someone somewhere. http://quietchristmaspoetry.wordpress.com
The image at the beginning is courtesy of http://freevintageart.com. I’ll close this post with a favorite photo by Karl of Lake Michigan.